Mekong Delta

Oct 22- Border Crossings and Motobikes (Journey from Kep, Cambodia to Can Tho, Vietnam)
This morning we get up and prepare for what we hope will be a smooth border crossing into Vietnam via a town called Ha Tien.  First things first, we knew this could be a bad crossing site; we had read up on it before and learned of plenty of stories of people getting scammed at the border, either by motobike drivers or by bus drivers.  Basically a scam goes like this:  Get to the border, motobike driver picks you up.  Motobike driver drives not to the bus station, but to random lot with bus in it.  You either pay the outrageous price or you are stranded (well, 400,000 vnd ~$20, but its supposed to be a $3 ride!).  Scam over.  Knowing this, we took care to not be scammed and booked through our trusty travel agent in Kep named Anna (really nice girl, arranged a lot of stuff for us at mostly fair prices).  So here it goes:  From Kep we took about an hour bus drive to the border.  Smooth as can be (well, the road was bumpy as shit, but we got there).  We get off, load our things onto a moto that our driver arranged for us, and head towards the crossing.  We cross and actually get off at what looks like a legit bus station.  Our driver there meets us and informs us that he was called previously and has our tickets, so we board the bus.  He did try to scam us slightly with a money exchange scam (rates are horrible at borders... ~2000 dong/$ less what it should be) but seemed like he was going to get us to Can Tho, our destination.  The ride was fairly uneventful for the most part, other than the end of it.  A note on buses in Vietnam: they always have two operators, the driver and the assistant.  Driver drives, assistant gets passengers and money.  Getting passengers involves hanging various amounts of his body out the window, usually his head and one arm, yelling at people on the side of the road and informing them how many seats are available on the bus.  Getting money involves getting money.  So about half an hour out Steph is asleep and I'm chillin, watchin the sites and soakin up the scenery.  Assistant guy gets some money for the ride from the two gentlemen in front of us (we had the whole back seat to ourselves).  I'm watching him, basically just to see the currency (we had no dong at this point, pseudo-mistake #1), when he turns around and looks at me.  He stares at me pretty hard, so thinking this is when he'll ask for more money and knowing we've already paid once, I stare right back.  He stares, I stare.  Then he kind of does the "what-up" nod at me, so I just do it right back at him.  At this point I'm hearing the Good, Bad and the Ugly whistle in my mind.  After a good 20 second stare down (which seemed like ages), Assistant Dude turns around and I feel like I've won (probably mistake #2).  30 minutes later, we pull up in this dirt lot next to a gas station and both the driver and assistant get out.  After some yelling, we understand that this is our stop and we need to get off.  Our bags were removed and the bus immediately pulls away .  I think its generous to say that it took about 5 seconds for us to realize we were not where we wanted to be (mistake #3- not asking our bus driver where the fuck we were and why it wasn't where we wanted to be).  We had been dumped, essentially, in the middle of nowhere.  After the fact, I can't help but wonder if it wasn't my wild west stare down that got us kicked off, but for my own sake I prefer to think not.  Either way, we had to figure out first where we were and second how to get to Can Tho.  We had gotten dropped off next to a whole bunch of relatively old ladies, which we went up to and asked "Can Tho? Can Tho?".  This sparked all of them to start yelling and bickering amongst themselves and to call over two moto drivers.  The lady held out about 40,000 dong, so Steph was like, "I think its only $2", so I hold out some USD.  After repeating "Can Tho?" to the moto drivers, they grab our stuff, put some brain buckets (helmets) on our heads, and we hopped on the back of their bikes (mistake #4- never get on a moto without first setting a price, regardless if you don't know where you're going, which we pretty much didn't)  Seeing some buses, we kind of thought that maybe we could catch a bus to Can Tho city, but something was definitely lost in translation there, because we drove right past.  This is the beginning of what would be roughly an hour moto ride to Can Tho City, at least half of which Steph had to endure with her pack on her back (no easy feat when riding on the back of a moto. note from Steph: I thought I was going to die. I can't tell you how many times I almost fell off the back as the driver accelerated and the extra 30 pounds on my back pulled me backwards. my abs burned like fire from the depths of hell) (mistake #5- never get on a moto not knowing where you are going or how long it will take to get there or without putting your pack between the driver's knees).  About 5 minutes in, our moto drivers did stop to let us exchange money (at over 20,100 vnd/$- a better rate than the ATMs here), which was probably only so they could get paid, but lucky for us anyways.  So finally, we get to Can Tho City but have absolutely no clue where we wanted to stay (definitely no mistake, its kind of fun just showing up and seeing what you get, shopping around a little- there's always plenty of places open since its the low tourist season).  This lady drives up to our moto and after Steph talks to her, we end up following her to a hostel priced at $6 a night.  Turns out she arranges boat tours and wants us to hire her for the next day.  After some food, we shop around a little and end up booking a ticket through her (best price for service for sure).  Then we had some MUCH needed beers and explored the city around us a little, but ended up going to bed pretty early.

Lessons learned from our first day in Vietnam:
1). Never trust a bus driver from the border.  Ever.  We got handled in Cambodia (much less so) and again in Vietnam.  Lesson learned.
2). Never stare down the bus driver's assistant.
3). Seemingly all old-ish Vietnamese woman wear pajamas. Matching pajamas.  All the time.  Seriously, thats all they wear.
4). Never get on a moto if you dont know where its going, how long it will take, or how much it will cost.
5). We now understand that we were technically dropped off in the province of Can Tho, just not the city.  Apparently thats an important distinction. (I think this was mistake #6)

Oct 23- Boat Tour #1 (Can Tho, Vietnam)
Can Tho is all about the boat tours.  So this morning we wake up at about 5 am to get ready for our boat tour which leaves at 5:30.  So we get on our boat, and its slow.  Really slow.  Like, we probably could have walked along the river faster than the boat took us, but its all about the experience at this point.  All the other tourists in their boats passed us.  Several times.  So floating markets... what to say what to say?.... They float.  Basically the markets consist of many boats loaded with one to two different products which the sell to people on other boats.  Its actually pretty cool because some of the boats are huge and have just tons of fruit but others are small and carry much less.  We were also able to score some delicious Vietnamese coffee from a coffee boat vendor.  The coolest thing we saw traded was probably 2 live ducks, which were grabbed by the neck and placed into a grocery bag so that their heads stuck out the holes.  To advertise their goods, boats stick an item on a long bamboo pole sticking up in the air (the ducks were not advertised like this).  Other than the two floating markets we visited, we also got to visit a factory where they produce rice noodles.  It was awesome.  Basically they cook huge portions of round rice paper and then dry it out in the sun.  Pictures are probably better than words in this case, but just know it was awesome.  At the factory also had a pig farm, which was amusing.   The vast majority of our time was spent in our boat on the river though.  Seriously, the vast majority (8 hours).  Did I mention our boat was slow?  Speed aside, it was pretty awesome floating through the different canals and whatnot that make up the Mekong delta. It was crazy to see people living along the river in shacks of all different varieties.  Another thing to note:  The mekong is dirty.  People just throw their trash into it all the time (I saw this happen at least twice) and our propeller got jammed with trash at least half a dozen times.  After our boat tour, we we're pretty tired so we went back to the hostel (where I took a nap and Steph read).  That night we walked around and saw this street stall that had Pho (which we have discovered is correctly pronounced fur) so we quickly ordered 2 bowls.  It was delicious, to say the least (probably the best pho in Vietnam so far, writing this on Oct 29, for only 10,000 dong (50 cents) a bowl).  After that we wandered up this alley that we had read about online looking for a market, but it looked sketchy so we turned around.  On our way back to a part of the city we recognized this man sitting with some friends grabs me by the arm and holds up this pitcher of a clear liquid.  After briefly considering the consequences, both Steph and I take a shot of this stuff.  I think now that it was rice liquor, although to be honest I'm still not completely sure of that either.  Either way, it worked.  I think the guys there offered to let us sit for some more drinking and some food, but we felt kind of awkward at this point and politely declined.

Oct 24- A Museum and a Market (Can Tho, Vietnam)
Today was relatively uneventful.  We went to a museum (most of which we didn't understand, being as it was in Vietnamese).  The museum was our first look into the Vietnamese version of the "American War" or "War of American Aggression".  I'll have to wait to really comment on this till we talk about Ho Chi Min City.  After the museum, we wandered some more, found the bus station for the next day, and found this awesome market.  I had read about the market but had no idea where it was, so it was pretty awesome that we just stumbled on it by complete accident.  We got the opportunity to buy some Vietnamese coffee strainers here, at the extremely cheap price of 7000 dong each (found some today for 15-20k later in the trip).  After a beer and some pretty bad eel, we ended up attempting to look for the market from the previous night once more.  We found what I think the guy was talking about, but it was really just a collection of back alleys and houses with little stalls interspersed between them.  Walking back towards the grocery store, we once again stumbled on some guys eating dinner who offered us more shots, which we quickly accepted.  I'm about 80% certain that this was rum, but it definitely wasn't any brand I've had before.  It was held in a juice bottle, which is kind of sketchy, but again, it worked.  We did stick around this time briefly to try some of their food (yum!) but didn't stick around too long.  We thought they maybe wanted us to sit with them (after last night's experience), but after many awkward seconds of us just standing there and not understanding what they were saying, we moved on (a bit disappointedly I might add). After picking up some goods from the grocery store, we headed to the waterfront for a beer.  Tonight we were debating whether to go on this huge boat for dinner, because we thought it would be really cool to float and eat, but after getting on the boat we changed our minds.  There were two levels of karaoke which was SUPER loud, so we decided 2 hours of hurting eardrums wasn't worth it.

Oct 25- Redemption and Boat Tour #2 (Ben Tre, Vietnam)
Today was a day for redemption.  We knew the only way to get from Can Tho to Ben Tre was by bus, so we wanted to do it right this time.  Here is our method:  Step 1- get on moto, don't over pay.  Step 2- find the right ticket vendor.  Step 3- don't over pay the ticket vendor  Step 4- make sure you are going to the right place.  It is advised to ask at least 4-5 times.  Step 5- Pay attention to whether you need to change buses before you leave (this happened).  Step 6- Don't get too comfortable.  Step 7- Dont stare at anyone.  With this foolproof method, we actually made it to exactly where we wanted and expected to be dropped off.  Redemption was ours. When we arrived, we got the usual barrage of moto drivers who were positive they knew the best guesthouse for us to stay at.  We arranged transport to one of these, which randomly happened to be one recommended by our trusty travel guide (the 2nd time this happened randomly; the first was in Can Tho).  (Sidenote: One horrible thing did happen-  I saw a guy wreck his moto.  It was terrifying, to say the least, since it happened while I was riding a moto.  Always wear a helmet- its the law)  At first glance, the place wasnt too promising.  The rooms were more expensive than we were quoted (what did we expect?), the room was open air, meaning that one could easily climb over the top of the wall and nab our stuff and it was also far away from the actual town of Ben Tre.  That said, it was still really cheap and the place looked like a really relaxing place to stay, far away from the hustle of the city (most big cities in the Mekong delta have 1 million plus people).  We also arranged a boat tour of some islands on the Mekong for later that day.  After some lunch, it was time for our boat tour.  The boat was much faster this time and we both agreed that the canals were actually even more awesome than in Can Tho.  Our first stop was to a place where they make candy from coconuts, which was amusing but not really all that great (even still, we ended up buying some).  After that, we headed to a much bigger island.  Here we got to taste some banana wine (ew), some honey, some honey tea, an assortment of fresh fruits, and take a canoe rowing down a canal back to the bigger river (these two ladies did the lions share of rowing).  Our next stop was at this place called Coconut Island (although I've yet to remember its real name) where there is this weird pseudo-playground installation. We spent quite a lot of time walking around this island and found a crocodile farm (unexpectedly, since it was really dark.  For the record, crocs moving in the dark are really really eerie looking). After getting back on our boat, we headed back towards where we came from, first stopping to watch fireflies along the river.  The Mekong is full of mangrove trees which at dark are full of fireflies.  It was a really amazing way to end our boat tour and was easily our favorite part of the whole day.

Oct 26- Bike Rides and Snake Blood (Ben Tre, Vietnam)
Our guesthouse was located kind of on the edge of Ben Tre province close to the river, where life is a lot different than in the cities.  Today we decided to use the free bikes at our hostel  to explore the area around it, since its not always what you see but often how you get to see it.  Our original plan was to try and find a rice wine factory that our book had mentioned, but that ultimately failed.  What did happen was about a 5 hour bike ride.  Bikes in Vietnam are pretty outdated, mostly consisting of one speed beach cruisers with squeaky wheels and hard seats.  My bike in particular was pretty horrible, having a non-adjustable seat (making the bike more than slightly too small for me) and an awfully crooked peddle.  Our ride through the countryside, however, was amazing.  Its weird how much different biking past a rice field is compared to driving past it.  Its also amazing at how interested in us the local people were- almost half the people we saw on the path said hello to us and waved enthusiastically (probably all the children did).  After some decent Pho, a much needed coffee break, an amazing biking tour of the countryside and some really sore butts, we made it back to our guesthouse around 4 in the afternoon.  We relaxed for a while but eventually headed to the kitchen area for a beer and some hammock time.  Around 530ish, it was time to start our adventure eating snake.  The night before, we had been sitting around and this guy comes up to us and starts talking to us excitedly in Vietnamese.  Being that no one around spoke English, we had absolutely no idea what the guy was saying.  After some arm waving and reading some testimonies in their guest log, we figured out that this was the "Snake Guy".  This conclusion was only further strengthened when the guy took us behind the kitchen to show us a barrel literally filled with snakes.  The Snake Guy was awesome.  I have no idea how he is related to the family running this guesthouse, but he was there both nights and apparently is semi-famous for preparing snake for the guests ("you no like, you no money")  He has this super amazing laugh and only 9.5 fingers.  Seriously, only 9.5.  From what we learned, he had been bitten by one of the snakes and had to self-amputate half his finger off, after which he went to the hospital.  Crazy or awesome?  probably both.  Anyways, having missed an opportunity in Can Tho for snake we both decided that tonight was the perfect night for some snake.  Snake guy comes up to us and tells us that it is time to kill the snake and we could take pictures (luckily this time we had someone there who could translate for us).  So he grabs the snake by the tail and holds it that way until steph could run and grab her spare battery (her camera ran out of batteries at the worst time), at which point he grabs a cleaver, puts the snakes head on the cutting board and cuts it off.  After the snake is beheaded the blood is collected in a cup (Steph helped), which we would later drink with vinegar or alcohol of some sort and ginger (to prevent contamination or to help it go down- we may never know). Snake blood makes you strong, apparently.  Then the snake is placed in a bowl and hot water is poured over it, at which point the snake (sans-head) starts convulsing (we think we remember them telling us the hot water is to help remove the skin).  The show over, we went left for a while to allow them to prepare our meal.  About an hour later, Snake Guy comes out with our food.  He brings out this curry looking dish, three small shot glasses, and the glass of blood previously prepared.  At first we thought he was going to drink a shot of the blood with us, but in fact we were wrong.  The snake blood tasted like... blood.  But diluted blood (bite your tongue really hard, take a shot of vodka and bite a piece of ginger- about the same as what we got I'd imagine).  Next we moved on to the snake, which was delicious.  It was basically just a curry, but with snake meat.  Really really good.  The texture was a little chewy but also light and tender.  The skin was really good.  The third shot glass (the one we thought was for Snake Guy) held an extra little surprise for me:  a raw snake-heart in some sort of clear liquor.  Apparently snake heart is "good for man, not good for woman- make you strong!" (at this point Steph was a bit disappointed, but also rather relieved) and also is good for erections (he told me this when Steph went to the bathroom: Snake Guy walks up, starts laughing, points to my crotch and then points up, then starts laughing even harder).  To be blunt, snake heart is vile.  It is definitely the worst thing I have eaten on this trip and the only thing that instantly made me want to hurl.  I dont know what kind of alcohol they put it in, but it was really strong and absolutely disgusting.  There's a video on the Shutterfly account.  Never again.